The thing about soap is that it’s lazy. Plain old lazy. You can ask it over and again to put the ingredients together and create itself but it’s so contrary, It Just Won’t. And it’s so easy too! A little oil, some water, caustic soda and viola! The soap comes into being.
But here’s the thing, folks, you have to make it yourself, because the soap won’t do it for you. Or you could buy some from the stupormarket, but that is not very wilde of you. Shame. Shaaaaaame. Anyway. I made soap recently! For the first time ever! You could at this point say to me, “Aha! Made it for the first time!! So up until now you have been buying it from the stupormarket and are therefore steeped in hypocrisy when you bah your shaaaaame-filled vitriol at us!!” And you would partly be right, but lets not go down that windy track. The point is, making soap is fun and awesome**
I forget. Probably something organisationally inclined. Actually I spent all day doing this part so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed by the Neat and Tidy pre-Planning-ness of it all. I suppose this would be summed up by: Gather necessary equipment. Which, just a heads up – takes a loooong time if you are not organisedly inclined. Which is me, obviously.
Some time later you mix the caustic soda/water and oil together. With a drill.
And hey! Magically, you have soap.
note: Please do not attempt to make soap according to these instructions. Find a nice sensible recipe by a nice responsible person, that actually includes all the steps. Feel free to be passionately motivated (into finding said recipe) by my freestyle account though.
** Definitely less fun and more dangerous if you have kids or pets you can’t keep safely out of harm’s way. Caustic soda can BURN, folks. As a childless person with pet-proof doors, I realise my advantage in this situation. If you have no way of making soap for yourself, persuade someone else to do it for you. The soap made in this way is still wildish and still tastily awesome.
The finished product, if you follow my lead and drag it out of the mould kicking and screaming before it has set properly, looks a little like this: Well, that was before the kicking and screaming part, while it was still sitting comfortably in its makeshift mould, looking soapy and tidy and skilled.
And this is what it looked like after the gouging and the chopping and the impatience. Awesome, right? I know. It’s so easy. You should try.